Mommy Tip of the Week: Ball point PEN marks on my Leather Couch ...Ohhhh nooo.. UhhhOOOHH

We didn't think much when we bought two exquisite,elegant , EXPENSIVE and light colored couches from Natuzzi. I remember walking into the store and thinking I might have to pay the salesperson to talk to us poor-looking tramps!!

We found our first dream home and the next logical step was to decorate the home. Hubby and I would venture out every single evening after work to find the perfect piece of furniture for every room. We had made a pact that nothing would enter our home until it had consensus from both of us. It was easy making the pact but difficult honoring it. BUT, we did not violate it!! That ofcourse meant sleeping facing opposite walls several times a week ( just like in the cute, romantic movies ...:). It was cute but not funny!!! We bickered and argued at every evening shopping trip but honestly neither of us were far sighted enough to realise that we might have two terribly troublesome toddlers who would raise havoc and upheave our "thoughtfully???!!!???" designed home. But Ofcourse we thought our kids would be PERFECT!! Why should they have been anything else right?? But then we had them and they discovered every loophole in our childproofing methods. That meant that "carefully??!!??" stashed away crayons or "BALLPOINT" pens found their way into their devious hands...

Who thought about the "Pen is mightier than a Sword" idiom in this context while shopping for light colored couches?... Oh no!! Not even in the horizon of my thoughts!!

My friend was mentioning about how she would feel like someone was treading on her heart when a kid was jumping on her expensive couch during the initial few times. I replied .."How about the pain from someone scribbling mercilessly on your heart?" It's true!!! the first time it happened, I was almost heartbroken!! I know its so materialistic but ..believe me when it happens the for the first time you forget all about being above material joys even if it's your own child.

However, I now have the bandage for my broken heart...!!! It does not mend completely but leaves very few traces of breakage.

So here is my Tip of the Week for ball point PEN marks on my Leather Couch

If your leather couch has been ruthlessly written on, don't let your heart shatter itself to pieces, the remedy is simple but a bit time consuming ...

All you need is

• PERFUME - so don't throw away those gifted perfumes that you absolutely detest

The oil + alcohol in the perfume offers the right combination for cleaning leather ... the harshness of alcohol combined with the softness of oil

• A soft yet rough cloth (lol!!.. a bounty sheet will do or the mother of all baby poos - baby wipes:)

Spray perfume on the ball point stain and leave it for a few seconds ... you will see the stain dissolving ... slowly, but firmly using your "soft yet rough" cloth to wipe away the stain. you might have to do two iterations for stubborn stains ... BUT VOILA!!!

your stain

will be washed away ...

so will your pain!!!

One whole year later ...!!!

Feb 28^th 2009, I had been dreading this day for months and finally it was time to bid adieu to Dallas and move to Seattle. The only things I associated Seattle with till then was … Microsoft and Sleepless in Seattle. The place my husband had spent a whole year travelling back and forth every week, a place where one of my best friends had moved to a few years ago. We moved and finally arrived in Seattle with our hearts still hooked on Dallas. It was a sunny day and the ride from the airport to our temporary corporate housing was long. Everybody had said that I would love Seattle at first sight but that really didn’t happen. I was just anxious to see a familiar face and I was happy when our cousins received us.

I had heard about the cloudy skies of Seattle but it didn’t strike me that it would be cloudy all the time and it was not until I saw a really nice and sunny day that I realized how much I missed my sunny, bright Dallas sky that I took for granted and even cribbed about. But when the sun shines … I have to agree that there is no place like Seattle (read my earlier post). So we learnt to enjoy the weather and make hay while the sun shines. However, the sun spells didn’t last too long and I was stuck in my world in Dallas. I missed our friends and our gorgeous home in Dallas. Finding friends was beyond a herculean effort. The only support was family from my husband’s side, Thank God for small graces. They had become our lifelines here without whom I would have pretty much ended up just running back all the way to Texas.

Living at the temporary furnished housing was tricky. I learnt to make do with very basic stuff and it made me realize that I didn’t need the umpteen pots and pans that hid inside my huge kitchen cabinets in Dallas. The other good consequence was I started baking / grilling a lot since I didn’t want our 2 month furnished house to smell like a curry pot when we move out. So healthy food habits also meant some weight loss and healthy living. We spent all our free times searching for a place to live and finally after a huge combing operation we found a tiny little townhome that satisfied most of our criteria … except one major one … SPACE!!!

This whole last year was brimming with events inspite of the almost complete lack of social life. The kids kept me busy. Ishaan started school and that brought a tremendous change in him. He finally has learnt to sit quietly in one place and make a conversation. Rayaan had to learn to cope with his brother being away for half the day and the coping technique he adopted was to sleep it off J. We celebrated the kids birthdays. Ishaan turned THREE …which was awesome because it signaled the end of the terrible twos. And our dear Rayaan celebrated his FIRST ever birthday. We postponed his birthday celebration hoping someone who fly in to attend it … but being almost at the opposite end of the world, it was not easy convincing anyone to fly half way across the country. So we celebrated it in a quiet and special way with just close family. Rayaan went from crawling to walking to running around. He metamorphosed into quite a cute li’l devil after being tired of being labeled an angel who did nothing but stare and smile at people. He has had several vocabulary explosions and its heartwarming to hear him talk.

Summer in Seattle was exciting and definitely worth waiting for, even though it felt like it came and just passed before you could climax. But while it lasted, it was the most beautiful summer of my life. I have never been at such an exciting place during the summer. There were tons of activities to do and countless events to go to. Ishaan started soccer classes and swimming classes and enjoyed hopping to the numerous parks all around town. Rayaan on the other hand watched his brother participate in all the activities and vicariously enjoyed it through his brother’s thrills. Meanwhile he figured out how to start running around and after that there was no stopping or turning back.

The end of summer also sorted of ended all the good stuff. Ishaan changed schools and had to learn to adapt to new friends and teachers. I went through a tumultuous time personally. With not many friends to turn to or nowhere to go I was left holding all my heavy emotional baggage all by myself. I slipped off the weight loss wagon when I most needed to be on it. I owe it to a few friends who kept me afloat just through phone conversations. I also have to thank Salman’s cousins who have become my best friends here. I learnt one important lesson to never take your friends and social life for granted. We were so accustomed to having more friends than we ever needed all our lives and for the first time in our lives I was confined to just the four walls of our home. It’s funny how I have all the time in the world to socialize (now that I didn’t have a day job) but I didn’t know enough people and I didn’t have the freedom to go anywhere because I didn’t have a car anymore and I had two kids to lug around if I had to take public transportation. For the first time in my life … I was desperate to find a friend.

Such was this long year, a mixed one filled with pleasant sights but very few people to share your joys with. Eventually the kids now have a few play mates and their mothers and I try to socialize a bit. We love hanging out with our cousins and enjoying awesome food. I also finally have two girls I can call to hang out with if I ever need to. We also ended up having a few visitors who flew up here half way across the country to meet us and it was so nice to see familiar faces again. I thank everyone who came here this last year from the bottom of our hearts – My parents, My Sister and her friends,My brothers in law Shahan and Sufyan, Kunal, Gaya, Dhiraj and Madhavi and Ashu,Tvesha and Mohan ... (sorry I missed them earlier on)...

That which does not kill you makes you stronger!! It’s true, we all have finally learnt to weather this storm and reconcile to living in a new place. We still don’t have too many acquaintances but we have learnt to live and appreciate each other a lot more.

From Ba ba ba to Blah blah blah... !!!

"Mammmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaa" he reprimands !!! "TIME OUT!!" with his voice escalating!!
"No shouting"!!! ... All because I yelled at his bhaiya for something trivial!!

That didn't take very long I must say ...to go from bababa to blah blah blah!!!

I recollect it was just a few months ago I heard him saying .. ba ba .. ( I think he meant bhaiya ..!!) He would call me mamma but not consistently. I remember complaining to the doctor at his 12 month checkup that he does not call me mamma relevantly.. He said quite a few words by then "gog <=> dog" ,"baba <=> bhaiya", "daydantay <=> dragon tales" etc.. Three days after his 12 month checkup .. he had a vocabulary explosion ... he started addressing me as mamma fittingly and a plethora of other words and even tough ones like "strawberry" "balcony" and such.
I was obviously thrilled to bits... !!

Last week .. he started making full sentences. He even wished the bank clerk "Happy Birthday" when he saw a huge balloon bouquet on her desk. The first complete sentence I heard him make was
"bubu, mamma gave me ducky" , he was telling his dad that I bought him a ducky... I was plainly put super ecstatic ...

He had been stringing words together for a while now...and it is such a joy hearing him say things with such funny pronunciations ... some listed below:

"Branini" for Biryani
"Yayyaan" for Rayaan
"I No talking me" for "not talking to you"
"I wuvvv oooo" for "I love you"
"top it" for "stop it "
"luckkyy kakka" for "yucky kaka" ( when he has had a dirty diaper)
"brokyn" for "broken" anything that does not work according to expectations

The other day I was nursing him in the wee hours of the morning just because I was plain lazy to get out of bed and bring him a bottle of milk. He nursed for a few seconds and then announced "mamma ..its brokyn" :) I was stumped and burst out laughing, chasing away all my sleep...!!

Some words he utters almost border in the zip code of expletives(if you mentally change the language ;) )
"Kaandi" for candy
"Maaki" for Monkey

It's a great relief and a soothing balm for a mother's heart.
Ask a mother who has a late talker how stressful it is. I know how it feels because my older son was not even stringing words together by 2 years. I was at my wit's end. I researched all over the world wide web for information about speech delays. The results would scare me beyond hope. "Autism", "SBS","Hearing loss" ... the causes were endless. I would go to the doctor and express my concerns and he/she would tell me there was nothing to worry about. He had met or exceeded every single milestone except this "speech milestone". It brings tears to my eyes even today when I think about all my fears and the sense of a impending doom that accompanied my thoughts.
Eventually by about 2 and 1/2 years .. he started making sentences. It was such a relief. It took me a speech evaluation from a speech pathologist to finally quell my fears. Now big brother corrects his little brother and says " not like that Rayaan .. say like this .. like bhaiya" :)

So in contrast when Rayaan started talking and expressing himself at such an early age I feel so assuaged. It's like as if god knows how heavy your burden can be and gives you just a tad bit more than you can actually carry. I celebrate every word he utters and every thing he says. Sometimes people find it ridiculous how I go all gaga over a silly new word he uttered. But that really does not stop me from even exaggerating the moment and bringing it to everyone's attention. Well, somehow this is something that I cannot give enough kudos for :)

Check this video out

From Movies

Here's another video of the two brothers dancing and prancing about. (Don't ask me why Ishaan is wearing Rayaan's clothes ... :) it was entirely his choice).

From Exported Videos

An older video .. in Goa with his dear dear masi

From GoaTrip2010

When the cat is away the Picassos go to play

Stunned, Shocked and Infuriated I glared at the walls!!! I didn’t know where to start or how two little boys could lash out their tiny crayons all over the walls. When did this happen and How did this escape my hawk-like eyes? The bedroom wall was covered with orange paint from end to end. The paint abruptly stopped right at their height. Maybe that was just one instance that I was thankful that I didn’t have tall kids. Maybe that was one day my kids saw what a terrible monster their mother could be.

Frankly, I didn’t have the energy or the enthusiasm to wipe out all the crayon marks from the wall. To top it all, we had a home inspection and our rental management agent highlighted that in the ten years of their experience she had never seen the walls that bad … And that literally drove me up the WALL.

This morning I was generally browsing and came across a “howcast” on “How To Clean Crayon Marks Off Of Painted Walls”.

How To Clean Crayon Marks Off Of Painted Walls on Howcast

I didn’t have all the ingredients for success but today I had the main one … the resolve to exonerate my bedroom walls of all the dishonor. And besides there couldn’t be a better time to do this, the perpetrator is on a mid-winter break from school (even though the weather does not spell winter in any direction). So off we went, with 2 sponges and a big bowl of hot water and soap and a few baby-wipes.

Mission “Erase Picasso’s traces” began.

The two brats were excited out of their wits about playing with soap and water. There was bubbles galore and giggling and squealing all along. I let them enjoy their activity. We started off with the smaller wall stains and once we perfected the stain removal process. We went over to the ginormaous wall painting that adorned our bedroom wall.

This was one painting that took more time to destroy than to create. I thought I must let the culprits feel the pain and understand the consequence of their actions. So we scrubbed away till the walls were weeping orange tears ..!!

Finally we have brand new looking wall!!! What peace!!

Happy Birthday Bubu

Bubu is a word that Ishaan coined when he was just little baby. His dad wanted to be called "Abbu". But now he's just stuck with "bubu" because now little Rayaan the little copycat has followed suit too. I think "bubu" has come to love his name too.

The three men have formed their own team now. I have completely been singled out. It neither fair nor funny ... yet it's cute in it's own sort of way. I love the way their eyes twinkle and their little bodies runneth over with joy when they hear the door open in the evening. They love their bubu with all their hearts, after all, it's bubu who rescues them from the wrath of their mother. Bubu never yells at the boys without reason and Bubu always has a calm way when he takes care of them. Bubu almost always gives them anything they ask for even though it mostly ends up with me expressing severe displeasure over candy handed out right before sleep time or cookies or milk given right before mealtimes. If bubu wants to refuse something he always can say "ask mamma" and ofcourse Ishaan has learnt to say "bubu I want you to do it for me". They catch up fast.

Bubu truly has a very unique way of dealing with the boys. He doesn't lose his temper around the kids and he believes in teaching by example. He is kind and gentle and at the same time strong and assuring. Bubu has earned his special place in their lives slowly , quietly but surely.

Today is Bubu's birthday. The boys have made him cards

Ishaan has painted a little froggie ... why a frog?? well because that was the only thing his mother could do a decent job at. But he has painted it quite well.

Rayaan has scribbled out quite a good looking modern art. He quite enjoyed unleashing the inner painter in him.

Both are cards cum wall art.

We also made him a digital card ... I drew the silly looking train and Ishaan painted it. The steam coming out of it is Rayaan's contribution. I had him paint it in a separate page.. then i cut and pasted it on Ishaan's train.

We also made him a little video.

Happy Birthday Salman ...

I don't say it enough ... but you know that you mean the world to me and the kids!!

Long Time No See

I had been dreading this from the time I started out that I would just lose all my motivation to write. And what I dread most almost always seems to come true. When I started with my new blog space here, I had started out with this new zeal and enthusiasm and with a conviction in my heart to change everything that I didn’t like about myself. The main one among them was to stop finding a reason to be unhappy and find happiness in the little things around me. I started small with finding joy in watching my kids grow and keeping things simple and easy. I believed strongly in my heart that if I resolve to be happy, I will be. A friend had warned me not to get disappointed when I slip back to my old ways once the intoxication of the new place and new life dies down. And honestly that’s what happened!!

The last few months have been spent just picking up after myself and everyone that depends on me. I have never felt so low and worthless in my entire life. I have tried to keep myself upbeat and find a reason to celebrate but nothing has sustained my interest. I thought of several topics to write on, but I felt like I would betray my blog. I was not happy inside and it felt just so hypocritical. One of my core values that I strongly try to abide by is not being a hypocrite, which is extremely hard but I try to honor that at least in all the things that matter. So when I am writing this, I’d like to say it upfront that this is an attempt to get over my inhibitions. Honestly, even the words are not flowing today.

I have mentioned several times before on this blog that being a mother is humbling and exalting, disheartening and encouraging at the same time. I am writing this to reach out to all the women who are homemakers, to all the mothers and especially to other mothers like me who have chosen to stay back home after they have had kids. I am not saying that I will do that permanently and truthfully I am not sure how long I might be a stay at home.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and wish it would be a day when I had to go to work. The nervous excitement of what lies ahead at work really gives you the rush and the energy to hurry through all the insurmountable obstacles and get everything started off on the right note at the beginning of the day. You feel wanted and you feel important. You feel like what you are about to do is something that makes a difference and mainly something that gets APPRECIATION. Yes the key word is appreciation. I have noticed that I could pull 2 or 3 “almost all-nighters” at a stretch at work and still not be frustrated, because at the end of those exhausting work days, I was filled with a sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT. Also at the end of these really long work hours you always got your fair share of appreciation … at least in most cases. Thankfully I never had to deal with my hard work getting completely ignored at work and I am extremely grateful for that. When I came back home from a long day at work, I still had the mental energy to switch roles and take care of everything at home. Of course, physically I was completely depleted, which was the reason why I decided to stay back home after my second kid.

However, my mornings now are never about self importance anymore. Ideally, I know that people who have not been in these shoes will argue that …”hey you can make your day matter”. The truth is .. that YES ..Whatever it is that I do now … does matter MUCH more than what I did at work. Maybe it does not matter to the world, BUT it does matter to MY WORLD. They simply don’t have a way of conveying it to me in a organized “priorities form or a quarterly review form”. They do convey it to me in little little expressions that make me feel like it’s worth it.

So, getting back to my mornings!! Now when I wake up, I am almost filled with a fear of what I will miss doing today that will end up adding to my repertoire of failures. There are days and nights that are spent tending and caring to a sick child but then there is no sense of accomplishment anymore, because there is always a few things that I’d have screwed up which only I will be able to repair and worse still, I’d have to hear at the end of all my hard work that I could have handled all this stress more calmly or in a better way. I find that as a homemaker everything you do matters, getting the kids and the husband ready for school/work/play, Cooking, Cleaning, Organizing, Washing everything matters. The difference is … everything you do right almost never gets noticed or appreciated but if there is a single thing that is amiss or a single thing that you failed to pick up, it glares at everyone and screams for attention. No matter how much you do, it is never never enough!!

Lack of appreciation and the lack of a sense of accomplishment really kill your motivation to do things whole heartedly. I am not saying that I don’t enjoy being a stay at home mother anymore. What I am saying is that I would have enjoyed it more if I didn’t beat myself up about doing everything right and feel so dejected when I eventually don’t meet my goals. I wish I would just stop believing how faulty I am and focus on all the things that I do right. I would have been a lot happier if I didn’t bog myself down with the several criticisms that come my way and just pay attention to all the love and attention my kids shower me with. A cousin’s kid once mentioned to me that my mommy never plays with me, she is always busy doing housework. I tried to explain to her that mommy has a hard job of keeping this house together and if she didn’t finish all her housework it would be impossible to live in the house. I realized that my purpose of staying back home to take care of the kids and be there for them is practically not being fulfilled because I was being hard on myself trying to keep up with all the chores in the house and ignoring my purpose of taking the role of a home maker. I struggle to keep my house looking clean of all the teeming toys that keep multiplying exponentially. I spend my energy cooking and cleaning and forcing my kids to take a bite of all the gourmet food they don’t want to even look at. The truth from whatever I hear from others is, this is the story of almost every mother or homemaker. We all try so hard to build a façade for the world to depict a perfectly well run household. But yet when we see other homes functioning so seemingly perfectly, we choose to ignore the fact that we also work hard to render a similar picture to others who view our homes. I have overlooked the KISS(Keep it simple stupid) rule that I had decided on abiding by. In the end my kids get no more attention from me than I would have given them if I was gone for a long day of work AND in the end I don’t get significantly much more work done that I would perhaps have if I was still working.

I want to put an end to this. I really do. And I really wish if you are a mother or a home maker like me you would too. I have realized that I am not going to get any flowery appreciation from anyone concerned for raising my kids well or keeping my house together. Yet it is my job and I will continue to do it to the best of my abilities. I have concluded that I will henceforth just take care of everything that is really important and things that can wait will wait. I will try to pick my battles more carefully. I will spend my positive energy on things that matter the most and most importantly once again try to be HAPPY about the simple things that I normally enjoy.

Nursery Rhymes Galore

http://picasaweb.google.com/vandanathomas/IshaanNurseryRhymes#