Where Oh Where Did My Baby Go

When did this happen? You are not a baby anymore ... Where's my little infant? Who's this little toddler running around and telling me stories? Are you TWO already?

Happy Birthday Rayaan!! Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!!

Just like "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", which happens to be your favorite book, you've metamorphosed too. Just a year ago, everyone would come up to me and tell me how quiet you were. During this last year you've just become your own person. You have your own opinions and your own space. You are no more just a shadow of your mamma. Sometimes I feel I could hold you in my arms forever and never let you grow out of that space. But then, when I watch you explore and perform in your space, I wonder how I could be so selfish to think that. A mom's mind is so paradoxical, or maybe it's just me.

The magic of seeing you grow into your own person, especially in retrospect warms the cockles of my heart. To watch you succeed taking your first steps to running a race with your big brother who almost never lets you win, but sometimes might just accede, is very heartwarming. To hear you talk and talk and talk makes my heart explode with love and emotions and victory. To see you impersonate all your favorite animals and make everyone around you laugh fills me with a pride that doesn't even try to hide. To feel you hug me with your tightest hold with your tiny little hands envelopes my senses with a security that I cannot fathom and To taste your little kisses satisfies all my hunger for any love that I might lack.

Rayaan you are my devotion, I have said this before. You've taught me patience and love.. You've taught me to relax and unwind ... You've taught me to believe again that I can be succesful, and how do I ever thank you for that my little, precious, adorable, darling, baby boy.

You love us all with a love so true .. so pure and so divine. You completed our family in a way that only you could with your magic.

Happy Birthday My Little Star!

Here's Mamma's Second Book .. dedicated to you ... because you love playing in the sand and on the beach ...!!!

Butterfly Effect

Being the first child of a very capable English teacher had its positive effects on me. My dad told me a lot of stories. In-fact, for every situation he had a story to tell. I often would get upset that he is trying to convey something in a roundabout way and this I have inherited too, fortunately or unfortunately?? I am not sure which, only time will tell.

Like all "good" parents, we've been doing our good share of reading to the children. In my case I often make up my own stories too. But most of the time if I spot a good story I use it as a weapon to teach my little boys, something that I have been trying hard to explain to them in plain words. I am not sure if we humans are just wired to read between the lines more than what is expressed clearly. However, when I put something into perspective via a metaphor or a story they get it. Perhaps, that explains why stories are so powerful or why the bible is full of parables.

Recently I have been using a story I read somewhere online about a little butterfly who would drink only one type of flower nectar and thus didn't have colorful wings. His mother explains that he must drink from more flowers to get prettier wings. Then one day he sees the most beautiful butterfly and then realizes why he must try different flowers too.

This is a spot-on story for my situation with an ultra picky eater. I have been using this story successfully to explain why he should try different foods. I also have been reading "the very hungry caterpillar" to his brother (a caterpillar who transforms into a butterfly). So, the current favorites in our household of two boys, are butterfly stories. :)

At dinner time last night, after getting a mouthful of assorted vegetables, Ishaan squirmed. I immediately reminded him why he should eat different types of food. He articulated that he got the point by saying, "oh yes! If I eat different types of food, I will become like a beautiful butterfly".

Then .. a long pause....

"But," he continued,

Another deliberate pause ...

"I cannot become a butterfly mamma, Because I am not a caterpillar!"

Oh, the joys of motherhood, especially when you get a taste of your own medicine back!!!!!

Because You Love Me!!

I just finished decorating the house with blue and orange streamers and balloons. There are a few Disney cars floating around too. Your little brother stayed up late and helped a little too. "Wow" "Wow" "Wow", he was really overwhelmed. You picked out all your decorations. This afternoon, I felt like buying the whole party store for you. You were running helter-skelter, unable to decide, what it was that you wanted your birthday decorations to look like. When did you grow up so much my baby.

You are all of FOUR today!!!

Happy Birthday my dearest dearest ISHAAN!

I cannot tell you how much you have grown in this last one year. It's like you've suddenly become a big boy. Right from wearing your own clothes to helping your baby brother dress up, from learning to eat yourself to almost cooking a meal with little help, from learning to talk more clearly to saying all the right things... You've just pushed your way out of your little cocoon.

Your power to gauge a situation and react appropriately often leaves me astounded. There are still a lot of times you want to be a naughty little boy, that's what boys are supposed to do. You are a goofy little boy but yet sensitive and caring.

You've always worked wonders on me Ishaan.You say the most magical things to me. You make all my blues hide by your tender, sweet, sensitive hugs. You just know what to say to calm me down and what to do to cheer me up. I could never thank you enough for the way you bring love, sunshine and a fresh breath of life into our family.

I quote Celine Dion to express how you make me feel

You are my strength when I am weak
You are my voice when I can't speak
You are my eyes when I can't see
You see the best there is in me
Lift me up when I can't reach
You give me faith 'coz you believe
I'm everything I am
Because you love me

Mamma has worked very hard these last few days to get her first children's book completed in time for your FOURTH Birthday (A lot of people helped too!!). This book is dedicated to you my baby boy. Happy FOURTH Birthday!

For the first time for the world's eyes.

Ishaan and Tricy's Zoo Trip ==> http://bit.ly/cVSVsE

Mamma and Papa!

It's one of those days when I am really missing ma and papa. A year ago around this time .. they were here visiting us. I stumbled upon this picture today and was overcome with emotions. A nice coincidence for a day that I was already missing them so much.

I have always taken them for granted. Sometimes when the phone rings and its ma or papa and I am busy doing some trivial thing like loading the dishwasher, I talk to ma and I am so distracted with my current activity. There are other times I tell papa .. I will call you right back. I usually do , but sometimes I get so wrapped up in my chores that I completely forget to do so. Even though I honestly meant to call him right back. Then its already time for him to go somewhere or too late for them to talk, thanks to the 12 hour time difference.

Two weeks ago ... a very dear and loving family friend and our family doctor passed away. He was so young and the shock has still not left my system. I think I spent a couple of days feeling miserable. It didn't help that we took his medicines everyday so even thoughts about him were not so far away. I have had a lot of aquaintances who have left us in the past few years. But honestly nothing has hit me as hard as this one. Dr. Martins was a brilliant homeopath with diagnostic skills that I am yet to see in any one else except the omniscient Dr. House on TV. Besides his medical prowess, this man was also such a generous social worker, giving free treatments to hundreds.I still have not reconciled to the fact that I will never see him again. It just breaks my heart. I hope he is happy wherever he is and I really hope his family can somehow reconcile to his loss better than I have. May his soul rest in everlasting peace!!

Anyway the reason, I mentioned the above incident was to mention what the shock has done to me. It has really dawned upon me that life is so fragile. To have the opportunity to say goodbye to your closed one, knowing that his days are numbered is one thing but to suddenly have to deal with it is so difficult. I always thought I was very strong and could deal with anything. But this incident has left me doubting myself.

Now when the phone rings and even if I am busy I just have decided that almost everything else can wait. I am eternally grateful to the lord for having such wonderful parents. I donot stop to thank them often for everything that they do for me. I thankyou papa and mamma for all that you both do , silently and happily. The conversation that I dread having with my dad everytime is "Have you been exercising?". He knows that I hate to hear it .. but he really hopes that I would get fedup one day and just do it. I hope I can make him happy about that very soon. Mama , she misses me all of sudden and calls. I am not around physically for her ... all I can do is atleast talk to her till she is satisfied and at peace. But instead I talk to her and continue working on the zillion little stuff that I am working on.

Well, hopefully this is going to change from now on!

Show And Tell , Letter T

It was show and tell day at school, they have one every month which usually coincides with their snack day. I am really huge on having him think about his show and tell day. I make it a point that he takes more than a toy to school. Unless the toy has something really relevant and meaningful to offer.

As a kid and a young adult, I was pretty creative with my school projects and projects that I helped younger kids do. I always enjoyed going that extra mile and doing something special for my projects. It didn't have to be super creative or a thesis worthy project, but it always involved spending some good amount of time on research and learning a lot on the way. I owe it to my parents, who are both teachers and they always made me go that extra mile. I enjoyed the process and was usually gratified with really good grades. So it was never disappointing.

As a parent, I like to do little projects with my kids too. Even though Ish is really young and Ray is just about starting, it is really never too early to start. I let them help me guide them ( complicated sentence, hope I made my point). Usually, I begin with asking them for some ideas. I usually build on an idea that they came up with. I usually have a decent talent for coming up with something on the spur based on things I see and hear - borrowed creativity bonanza!! :)

This week when he had to show and tell something with the letter T. He instantly wanted to take Thomas the tank Engine to school. I said it was a great idea maybe we could draw Thomas instead. He was excited. I then asked him if he wanted to also write the word "train" because he now knew how to write. He agreed!! We explored more ideas and finally we reached the conclusion that we would write and draw some of his favorite "T" words. So we chose Tree, Truck,Train ,Tiger and Toys.

Then we made a tiny book of the Letter T , written and illustrated by little author Ishaan Taj.

Presenting his first book to you !!! Tada!!!

Now I Know My ABC's !!!

Ohhhhh....!!!! He will do it when he is ready for it ...!!! , My mamma and Papa tell me that everytime I complain that the kids have not done something they are supposed to do.

It's been a while that I have been trying to get Ish to sit and write his ABCs... But he had refused to even hold the pen so far ...If I used some severe coercing techniques the most I would get was an "O". His argument was I only like "O". "O" is my favorite mamma was an indication to me to leave him alone ...I have heard my mum say that "you can take a donkey to the river, but you cannot force him to drink the water". I guess that's always been my experience with Ishaan...!!! Like I've said it before ..."I can't hold him in my hands.. the more I do he slips out like sand".

On the other hand ..Mr. Ray is a peculiar little toddler. I sometimes thnk he is a little man trapped in a baby's body ... He loves scribbling and doing stuff his brother is supposed to do. So last week when we went shopping I bought him a little doodle board... and he doodles like his life depends on it or something. The doodle board was not Mr. Ish's favorite toy so far but ofcourse when his little brother got his own doodleboard our man needed to emphasize his authority and superiority... All of a sudden he wanted to write. I thought I would capitalise on this competitive spirit that got kindled out of the blue. So I decided to challenge him to write an A ... and Lo .. behold an "A" sprang out of nowhere. Then I tried to push my luck a bit and he was able to imitate almost every letter I wrote. It was a pleasant surprise ...and a long awaited one..!!! So we spent the day yesterday just trying to spell random words and I bribed him with blue Icecream if he learnt to spell and write his name. To say the least .. I went to bed last night extremely pleased and satisfied.

Today he was playing a game on the computer and normally he calls me to help him spell out his name while he types it. But today was different.... he typed his own name... the letters were all jumbled up and looked somethng like this "IHAASN" ... I was thrilled .. because that meant he atleast remembered all the alphabets in his name. This evening when he came back from school .. we were playing some random train game with an old cardboard box. Both the brotheres decided to decorate it with some colored paper ... and I was just playing along. Suddenly I asked him if he would like to autograph the back of the box by writing his name... And hallelujah ...!!! he spelt and wrote his name all by himself :) ...Time for "Blue Cotton Candy Icecream from Coldstone"...Yippee!!!

Waiting for Tomorrow!!

Leftover Chicken Korma tastes great with spaghetti...!!! So ... I was squealing that I didn't have to cook much because hubby was out of town. Fed some pasta with garlic and olive oil and eggs for the kids and didn't bother about my dinner ... Come Dinner time and I was in no mood for some bland spaghetti … I dug in the refrigerator and there was a bowl of some chicken korma with like three teeny weenie pieces of chicken in it… I warmed it up and thought I would eat it with some bread … but that didn’t appeal to my taste buds at all. I craved some meatballs to go with the spaghetti… but this was my day off … I didn’t want to cook … I groaned in my thoughts… Finally Eureka happened and I decided that I’d just dump the chicken korma over the spaghetti, the result was yummilicious.

When hubby left for his business trip I thought it was perfect time to take a good break from the umpteen household chores that adorn my day. I am sure his work agenda was not as well planned out as mine. My plan was simple… Be a sluggish slob!!

The first day was just fine … I did nothing … cooked simple (read EASY) stuff for the kids … let them enjoy their mess making process and just let lethargy rule my life. I ignored my hunger pangs and made do with milk and bread while the boys gorged down some mac n cheese. By evening I was already bored of my lackluster plan. However, I tried to motivate myself to get over it and do some girl stuff even though I had only two little boys to share my girl stuff with … After watching a series of Oprah and Project Runway with me, the result it had on my boys was just disastrous… This morning I heard him announcing “I love my body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, obviously he had paid close attention to the Victoria’s Secret AD that made its rounds. Ughhhh!!!!!!!

The second day I decided that I would make the day more interesting by doing some fun stuff with the boys. I think we did more activities that one day than we normally would do an entire week. We went to the park , ate “BLUE” icecream at Coldstone, went shopping for toys, came home and ripped open all the toys, blew bubbles till our mouths hurt and till Rayaan had ingested enough soap to have potty outbursts, played chutes and ladders. We did all this and more and still there were 4 more hours to kill before sleep time. So they watched TV and I spent my time on Facebook. Dinner time finally made me yell in pain because I really wanted to eat some adult food. Thankfully the chicken korma spaghetti saved the day and I didn’t have to starve.

The third day I got the food part covered by carrying out some scrumptious food for the next 2 days. (No, I was not bored enough to toil it out in the kitchen – spaghetti, mac n cheese and pizzas were all I was ready to sign up to make). Nonetheless the day seemed long and endless and the nights were just as terrifying, my over-stimulated, over-worked senses could detect the slightest sounds.

The truth is I really missed my hubby dear. It’s funny how dependent you get on each other without even realizing it. After several years of being married you don’t even appreciate all the little things you do together. It’s not like we sit and talk or spend any obvious quality time together anymore. Infact most of our together times are spent just squabbling over division of labour or playing with the kids or just watching something on TV. Nevertheless, those times of companionship constitute the bulk of any relationship. It is those everyday matters that matter... and go to form the substance that binds you together. I have learnt that the fact that you can tolerate each other inspite of the differences and still want to lie down on the same side of the bed after the day is done with, just with some comfort in your heart from an unseen envelope of love and support, is itself something to be grateful about.

I know I have just become ungrateful and I fail to appreciate the little joys that make my life infact pretty darned blissful. However times like this most indubitably reinforce that belief back in my mind and make me less of an ingrate.